By Simmer Singh Narula
Founder | Coach
Glintt Consulting
Like pregnancy, being an immigrant elicits the same curiosity from strangers and the same combination of pity and respect. I’m often reminded of a line from Jhumpa Lahiri’s The Namesake. This short passage describes Ashima’s beliefs about the life of a first-generation immigrant in America. I am no Ashima, but the last few years of cultural assimilation and adjustments have taught me numerous lessons and made me realize that the American Dream is an experience with unique trials and tribulations. Your journey through them decides where you fit in and how. In 2016, I went from being a visitor to a resident, when I married a first-generation Indian American man, became a mother less than a year later, and launched my career in America by working in technology companies. Along the way, I juggled the cultural challenges that my new home threw at me. As a newly trans-located human, I never let go of my roots and the cultural impressions I brought from India. In the last few years, I’ve tried to answer a simple yet profound question,” Where is home”?
Time and again, I’ve paused and contemplated this “in-between’’ space. I live in this in-between space, with my memories of a home, in India, one that has my values, community, and support system and my new home. I don’t belong there just as much as I don’t belong here. I’m now focused on acknowledging and creating my place carved out of the cultural mosaic of my past and present life. Doing so requires that I overcome my limiting beliefs as a “fresh-off-the-boat” immigrant, maneuvering my new home’s ways of doing things while holding on to my ethnic and cultural identity. Initially, I longed for the warmth of India and felt lost in my new environment, one that I found so competitive that it had little room for human error and sometimes couldn’t see beyond numbers. Gradually I’ve realized that it doesn’t matter where you are. This world is built on relationships, not numbers or profits. I had to overcome my limiting beliefs about how others might perceive my education, work experience and cultural beliefs. I realized that they weren’t helping me and that I had to navigate challenges to succeed in this new culture and environment. I longed for a mentor, a guide, or a friend to validate what I was going through and help me through adapting to a new culture. Here are a few things I wished someone had told me:
Your uniqueness is your strength: Uniqueness can become a strength depending on circumstances. As an immigrant, your cultural experiences allow you to look at things in a different light, which can be extraordinary. People who cognitively approach concepts and tasks differently break the rules, and derive solutions that others might not. All this can lead to creativity and innovation, and can be applied to challenging protocols or processes or give a fresh perspective for a new set of customers. Any growing business can use your unique perspective to its advantage leading to better decisions and outcomes.
Lean in with curiosity and don’t lose yourself: I’ve found that most beliefs about immigrants and their cultures are based upon myths and false narratives. Both can be limiting. But use those moments when you are misunderstood to educate people and create connections. As you engage with people in your new home country, find opportunities to learn new things — A language, a new sport, a festival, and the meaning and importance of it. Do anything and everything to evolve as a human being without losing your values, beliefs, and culture.
Know your worth: When you move to a different country with work experience and degrees from institutions your colleagues have never heard of and may not value, it can test your confidence and make you feel “less-than.” It’s hard to prove that you might have attended the Vassar, University of Michigan, Stanford, or even Harvard of India and you’ll feel compelled to prove your worth by working twice as hard. Don’t. Be confident in your skills and education. The skills that immigrants bring to workplaces are vast and valuable. Lean into your experiences and cultural differences and take pride in how they informed your worldview and made you the professional you are today.
As a leadership professional and a trained ICF executive coach, I support people from various cultural and ethnic backgrounds, those experiencing challenges in adapting to new environments and expectations. If any of this resonates and you need someone to talk to — please email me at simmernsingh@gmail.com, and let’s have our first virtual coffee. I can’t wait to hear from you!
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